Have you got a Gaslighter in your life?  If so, here is how a lie detector test can help you.

What is a Gaslighter?

This type of person will try to control you or other people by manipulating them.  The most common form of manipulation is to accuse you of doing something that in reality, they themselves are doing.

Gaslighters can be found at home, in the workplace or even among your friends.  Their tactics include disparaging you and playing mind games that make you wonder whether it really is you that has a problem. Both men and women are emotionally abused in marriages and relationships by gaslighters.

How to recognise gaslighters

The methods gaslighters use to manipulate are diverse and many.  but here are the main ones:

  • Lying with alacrity
  • Stirring up trouble between you and your friends of family
  • Conspiring with others to bring you down
  • Telling anyone who will listen that you are mentally unstable, controlling and generally unstable
  • Denying they have said or done things that you know they have.
  • Disliking your friends or family for no logical reason

Often gaslighters will:

  • Accuse you of cheating when it is they who are guilty of infidelity
  • Accuse you of addiction when they are addicted to something
  • Accuse you of being controlling when they are the masters of manipulation

Diversionary behaviour

A gaslighter will employ diversionary behaviour to make you defend yourself against things they are accusing you of but have never done.  For example, if they are cheating on you they will accuse you of sleeping with someone else.  This will usually be at a point where they are planning a clandestine meeting with a lover. Whilst you are busy conducting your own defence against absolute nonsense your attention is diverted from the gaslighter’s behaviour.

You know you weren’t with a lover last Tuesday because a) you don’t have one and b) you were at home last Tuesday waiting for the gaslighter who was late for a meal you had cooked.  You remember it well because you were angry that the meal was ruined.  So you explain this but it makes no difference.  The accusations continue.

Worse, the gaslighter tells your friends that he is convinced you are cheating. You’ve been out for 4 evenings this week they are told.  The crucial piece of evidence that is missing is that you were visiting your brother in hospital. When you remind the gaslighter that you had told them this, they absolutely deny that you did.  How a lie detector test can help in this situation is fairly obvious.

You are an alcoholic

Once a month you go out with your friends on a Friday night after work.  You have a few drinks and come home slightly tipsy.  Apart from the odd funeral, wedding or at Christmas you seldom drink alcohol apart from this.

The gaslighter says you are an alcoholic and your drinking is out of control. Your friends are asked to keep an eye on your drinking because you’re passing out regularly.  Of course, none of this is true but accusations come thick and fast.  You start to question yourself. You can’t ever remember passing out but if you’d had too much to drink maybe you wouldn’t remember. And this is when the gaslighter has won. Starting to doubt your own sanity is the end goal.

Meanwhile, you accuser does drink too much and often passes out.  You have kept this a secret from your friends because it is frankly embarrassing. But you can’t bring it up now because they have already been told you are the alcoholic.

How a lie detector test can help

Gaslighting is despicable behaviour causing conflict and damage wherever it is practiced. How a lie detector test can help in these situations takes many forms.  Our clients come to us to prove they are telling the truth or to order a test for someone they believe to be lying to them.  Test results can be shown to friends and family.  Gaslighting erodes your confidence and makes you question your sanity.  We hope this article enlightens you to what it is and how to recognise it. If you would like further information about how a lie detector test can help you uncover the truth, contact us today.

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